Hushpuppy: The Sad Saga of Saint John

"The Sad Saga of St. John"

Jim Duke (Performed AHG NH Oct. 9, 2004)

I remember that sad day
In the year 2002
When I heard the TV say
Saint John ain't good for you
I reckon they forgot
What you really oughta know
2 billion bucks of zoloft
Placed second to placebo

I reckon they forgot
The good Doctor Cott
The first one to outline
The study design
But after Cott was gone
The design it was redrawn
With no redeeming graces
They took on basket cases.

They forgot the good Saint John
Was the German's number one
With better deutsch direction
They take John for their depression
What’s the story we were fed
By our US Institute
They misled us instead
Saying herbs they ain't "sehr gut"

Our Institutes of Health
Misleads us local yuppies
They rob health to pay off wealth
Their studies are hushpuppies
And the press in all its wisdom
Said what JAMA didn't score
Saint John reduced orgasm
But zoloft reduced it more
Hushpuppy
A most depressing tune
Hushpuppy
Keep howling at the Moon
Saint John
Ain't you groaning in your grave
Pray John
Make the NIH behave

They muted the real news
The placebo beat the pill
But the news gave me the blues
Like liars likely will

They forgot to tip us off
What I think we all should know
2-billion-bucks of zoloft
Was poorer than placebo

That's what really is the news
Hope that everybody knows
Zoloft did really lose
Outdone by mere placebos.

So I'm plowing up my herbs
They're much too hard to grow
Gonna move to the suburbs
And grow me some placebo

Hushpuppy
A most depressing tune
Hushpuppy
Keep howling at the Moon
Hushpuppy
Did you want the herb to lose?
Your study
Was really just a ruse
Saint John
Ain't you groaning in your grave
Pray John
Make the NIH behave


SLAYING SAINT JOHN WITH SLANDEROUSLY SLEIGHTING STATISTICS JAMA FINALLY CONFESSES (APRIL 10, 2002), AFTER A 4 MILLION DOLLAR STUDY, THAT ZOLOFT IS LESS EFFICACIOUS AND A BIT MORE DANGEROUS THAN PLACEBO. SAINT JOHNSWORT THE HERB, ALSO LESS EFFICACIOUS. BOTH HAVE MORE SIDE EFFECTS THAN PLACEBO. BUT YOU DON'T GET THAT FROM THE TITLE OR THE PUBMED ABSTRACT. YOU DON'T EVEN GET THE NAMES OF THE AUTHORS IN THE STUDY GROUP. YOU HAVE TO READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE. FEW PEOPLE DID. SO THE PRESS AND MEGAPHARMACON PREVAIL, and the safer herbs lose.